Brittany Rebecca Helton

10 weeks……..

by on Oct.13, 2010, under Thoughts and Feelings

and the reality of you being gone is starting to set in. Is this really happening? Is my little girl gone forever? Do my other daughters no longer have you in their lives? YES is the answer to all of the questions. There are so many more that the answer is YES to as well. Am I angry for what you did? Do I miss you like crazy? Do I love you? Have I always loved you? Do I think about you every second of the day?┬áDo I want you back? Would I give anything to have you here? Should I have fought harder to keep you away from your horrid stepmother? Should you have told me what was going on? Could you have come to me at anytime to get away from the pain you were in?I could go on and on with everything, but I won’t bore you!

I finally did what I needed to do yesterday and I hope that you were there. It was the first true breakdown that I have had since your funeral. It’s a bit easier to talk to a stranger than it is to talk to people that I know. Strangers have no emotional involvement and don’t know any of us from Adam. It was easy to let it all go. To talk about you and to say how I really feel about what has happened to our lives and our family since you have left.

Please know that you will always been in my mind and in my heart. I will never forget you and will always love you so very much.