Brittany Rebecca Helton

Another looooooong night

by on Dec.07, 2010, under Thoughts and Feelings

Well, it was another night of tears and looking at your pictures and wondering WHY you did what you felt you needed to do, but I guess I get it….kinda. I know it could not have been easy for you to come to that decision, but I can see why you felt that was your only way out. After hearing things from sissy and Brett and others, it was obvious that you thought the only way out was to end it all. Well sweetheart, THAT WAS NOT THE ONLY WAY!! You could have called sissy, me or even grandma and we would have been there in a heartbeat, no questions asked. I would have walked to you if I had to just to save you from what you endured.

I find it hard to believe that it was ever your words that were spoken regarding sissy and I bullying you. I would have never in a million years even thought about doing that. I adore you, and your sisters and only want the best for all of you. Your sissy loved you (and still does) so very much and she would never hurt you. I think that things were being put into your head and that is all you ever heard, so for you, it made sense to believe them. I’m not angry at you for anything. I am angry at the people that fed you lies about me for so very long. I’m angry at the people that continue to tell those lies to anyone that will listen. And I am most angry that you were taken away from me and that you never got to know the truth while you were alive. Well, I know that you know the truth now.

I love you….remember, I always love you. I will always be your MOMMY and you will always be close to me.

ps….I hate driving to work and crying at the same time. I want to crawl into a cave and bring you with me