Brittany Rebecca Helton

Rain and You

by on Dec.20, 2010, under Thoughts and Feelings

It’s raining here right now, but you knew that already. Its been raining all day, but you knew that too. Your sisters and brother are in bed and I have the window open listening to the rain and I wonder….are you crying because you are sad that you are not here, or are you crying because you are finally happy and at peace with everything? I wish I were. I wish I were at peace with what has happened to our family and what you did almost 5 months ago to bring our lives to a screeching halt. But, this is not about me, or your sisters or your grandparents, this is about YOU, and do not let anyone ever make you feel that it’s not. YOU are the one that felt the need to leave the stage in the middle of your song. YOU are the one that felt that your only escape was the ultimate escape. YOU are the one that we will be walking to honor in February. I hope you are there with us on that Saturday morning. I hope that we feel your presence while we are honoring your short but beautiful life. And by beautiful life, I mean YOU, not the way you were raised and not the way you were not taken care of…I simply mean you….my beautiful angel. My beautiful daughter who should have been here tonight with your sisters and brother watching ‘Beauty and the Beast’.

We love you, and we miss you, and our pain is not less or no greater than anyone elses that has lost you. It’s just different. Some love you out of guilt, some love you out of just loving you.

Stop crying sweetheart and go to sleep. Rest