Brittany Rebecca Helton

Seriously? Still?

by on Mar.17, 2011, under Thoughts and Feelings

I don’t get why they feel the need to be so hateful!! Especially on a page that has to do with you and allowing you to be honored and allowing you to rest in peace. Seriously!! And to think that I was thinking about reaching out to your loser father and checking on him to make sure he is ok. For all I care he could rot in hell, which I am sure if quite close to living with the step monster that took you away from me. I am so sick and tired of everything from that part of the country. It’s bad enough that my blood pressure is through the roof right now with everything else that is going on, then I have to see some shitty comment on a suicide causes page with your beautiful picture on it. I could just scream! I know that it’s not ok to hate people, but I truly despise them!! The only good thing that came out of my relationship with your loser father was you.

It’s funny that he was so into your life when you were older but when you were a baby he chose to abandon you and I and your sister. It’s funny how that never gets mentioned. It’s funny that he wanted nothing to do with either one of you 2 and that I was the mommy and the daddy because he was too busy doing other things. Then he just ups and leaves. Oh wait, that’s right. He also did it again when you were 13 or so and you had to keep that dirty little secret from CRAZY. Some father of the year he is huh? Oh but now, he is trying to appear that he worshipped the ground that you walked on. Perhaps he should have protected you from the one person that drove you to take your own life and he would be able to worship the ground you walk on. Perhaps he should have seen that SHE was the one that was tormenting and bullying you and THAT is what led you to do what you did….not me. How can I bully you when we barely communicated with each other, but your choice not mine. I wanted you in my life and in your sisters lives, but you did not want that and I let you have that freedom. THAT is what a good mother does. I did not smother you and call you all the time and yell at you and make you drive 7 hours straight back from Ohio and miss the one thing you were looking forward to doing with your boyfriend. I am not the mother that you and your sister used to make fun behind her back and I am not the mother that was told that she is ‘obsessed with her children’. I am also not the mother that was taking a nap on the couch when you committed suicide.

All I can do at this point is to pray that one day they are forgiven by you and God.

I love you sweetheart