Brittany Rebecca Helton

In a funk

by on Apr.11, 2011, under Thoughts and Feelings

Hey baby, I’m in a bit of a funk today and I am sure that it has to do with all the depression I have felt for the past 8 months. I have my good days, but then I have days like this where I don’t want to function at all. I feel lost and I feel as though a part of me died with you died. I never imagined that any of my children would die before me, and then you did. I never imagined that I would have to talk to people about suicide and that we lost you because of it, but I do. I get a little hesitant when people ask me about how you died, but then I tell them. All they can say is ‘I’m sorry’. It’s not their fault. It’s what you felt you had to do. I hate it, but ultimately it was your decision and no one can change that.

I miss you so much and sometimes I feel like I am going to die from a broken heart.