Brittany Rebecca Helton

Wondering what you’re doing

by on Nov.28, 2011, under Thoughts and Feelings

As I’m lying here in bed trying to muster up the energy to start another dreaded day, I’m curious as to what you are doing right now. I wonder if you have gone for a walk, if you have played with any puppies, if you have seen your great grandparents or made someone smile. (The last one is a given) I wish I knew what you did on a daily basis up there since I didn’t get to know what you did on a daily basis down here. I wonder what you eat for breakfast. I wonder how you fill your time during the day.
I do know that you watch over us, which we are all very grateful for. I cry at night more and more these days. More than when you first left us. I’m sad that you are not around. I’m sad that you cannot see your baby sisters grow up or spend adult time with Ashley. I’m sad that I will never have a chance to tell you everything that happened, and I’m sad that I allowed that horrible person to treat you the way that she did. I’m sorry I could not be there for you. I did not know what was going on, but I wish that you had reached out to my because I would have done everything I could to save you.
Just remember that your mom loves you very much. Since the day I found out about you, the love has always been there.
Rest in peace sweetheart.