Brittany Rebecca Helton

Merry Christmas 2011

by on Dec.25, 2011, under Thoughts and Feelings

Merry Christmas my angel. I wish that things could be different right now and that you were here with me and your sisters and brother to celebrate this holiday, but you are not and that is something that, unfortunately because of the actions of others that I have gotten used to. I hate the fact that I will never again see your beautiful smile or your sweet freckle face. I hate that when I look at your sissy I cannot take her sadness away. I wish that I could have fixed everything for you and you would be here with us right now where you belong.

For some reason, this Christmas is harder than last. I guess it is finally sinking in that you really are gone and that I will not see you pop through the front door to surprise me. I guess that is why I have not wanted to function at all these past few weeks. All I have wanted to do is crawl into my hole and not come out, but what good would that do? I still have your big sister and your baby sisters that need me. I wish that you needed me when you were here….or maybe you did and someone would not allow you to communicate with me. It’s ok. Whatever the reason, it does not matter now. All that matters is that you are at peace and can finally rest and not worry about what one person in particular is going to do or say to you next to make you feel the way you did 16 months ago.

I love you very much. Always have. Rest in peace my sweetheart. You deserve it. You are missed so very much and we would do anything to have you back with us.

Merry Christmas!