Brittany Rebecca Helton

 
When the visions around you
Bring tears to your eyes
I’ll be your strength
I’ll give you hope
For a sister’s love never dies
 
I promise you never
Will you hurt anymore
I’ll be your strength
I’ll give you hope
For a sister’s love never dies
 
Over and over your heart breaks
Without me in your life
I’ll be your strength
I’ll give you hope
For a sister’s love never dies
 
I will love you forever
Even now my life is through
I’ll be your strength
I’ll give you hope
For a sister’s love never dies
 
You are never alone
My arms are wrapped around you
I’ll be your strength
I’ll give you hope
For a sister’s love never dies

Author: Holly Graham

Brittany, I am worried about your Brett. He is back in communication with certain unstable individuals that made him feel so horrible over the past 4 1/2 months. I sent him a text message last night telling him that I would always be here for him and to not let anyone make him feel bad about anything. He has so much going on in his head and in his world, and all he wants is what everyone else wants…..to have you back and safe and have everything be ok. What I wouldn’t give to have that again!

I was laughing last night with Ben about when I was pregnant with you and how you used to shake your little bum around and I would watch it and Grandma would be in amazement at how you moved!! I had to sleep sitting almost straight up at 4 or 5 months along with you because you needed to stretch out, I guess. You pushed everything up into my rib cage and I could not breathe for the life of me! You were such a big baby! And such a fattie! My little chunky monkey! Who would have known that you would grow up to be such a petite tiny little thing? Always beautiful.

Christmas is  coming up and I am not in the mood. I put the tree up and the decorations up for your little sisters, but I truly do not feel that I can do this. I hate this feeling.

I love you~~~~

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CfTeXfFnLSM

Don’t ever be afraid to tell someone that one of your friends has talked about suicide. Its better to have them angry at you then to not have them around at all

I forgot to tell you that sissy got a message a short time ago about this website from Sara asking if she could use it at a talk that she was going to be doing about teen suicide. It made me very happy to know that she would want to honor you in that way. I am so glad that even now, after you are gone, you can help someone in their own life. You were lucky to have such a great girl as Sara in your life that could help you through things when your sister was not there. You should have reached out to her to let her know that you were struggling. She could have tried to do something to help you get through the rough spots. She could have called someone for you.

I am so sorry that you felt that you could not reach out to someone, but hopefully now, you will be able to help another family from NOT having to go through the pain that all of us are going through on a daily basis.

Rest baby…..

Bitt, I feel lost without you. I may not have all the memories that others do of doing things with you, but I have your birth and the short visits we had as my memories. I may not know all of your friends, but I have some of your friends on facebook now. All I know is that I love you so much. I miss you so much. I would give anything to have you back with us. To have you safe and warm and loved and happy. I am sure you are all of those things wherever you might be, but I want you here….with me and your sisters. My heart breaks everyday when I think about you. I can hear you and see your little toothless smile that Christmas you were here when sissy was just 2 weeks old. That was the best Christmas I ever had! I’m struggling sweetheart with the fact that you are gone. I feel like my friends don’t understand what I am going through because they have not lost a child. All I want is to wrap my arms around you and tell you just how much I love you. I never had a chance to do that before you left. I hate the last conversation that we had, but now that I think about it, I doubt it was even you. I know that she was able to log into your facebook and that makes me weary about the fact that it was even you communicating with me. You would have never said such horrible things to me. The conversation started off really well, and I wish it would have stayed that way.

I miss you so much that there are days that I just want to curl up into a ball and shut the world off.

Today is your baby sisters birthday. She is 11 and as beautiful as you and your other sisters. She mentioned your name the other day and my heart sank. After she went to sleep I sat at the computer and looked at your pictures and cried. I miss you so much.

Today you have been gone 18 weeks. That seems like such a long time, but then it seems like just yesterday. I hate Wednesdays.

I think the craziness has stopped again….for now at least. Maybe something was said or she is finally starting to believe that she is not the only one that lost you. WE ALL lost the most amazing Brittany that ever lived.

I love you….have peace sweetheart.

3 generations of women in our family

I’ve lost my baby daughter,
Though not misplaced.
I feel she’s somewhere
Bound by neither time nor space.
Perhaps she sits before the Throne
With radiant face.
She could be dancing happily
Like little girls do
With golden taps beneath
Each precious little shoe.
I know she must love music,
So I’m sure it’s true.
I’m grateful that in Heaven
She is healthy and strong
And that she’s lulled to sleep each night
By Heaven’s song,
But I wish I could hold her;
Is that terribly wrong?
I sang so often to her
While she was with me
And I will go on listening
For her harmony.
How sweet to know
I’ll hear it In eternity.

Lisa L. Easterling
Copyright 1990

We are connected,
My child and I, by
An invisible cord
Not seen by the eye.

It’s not like the cord
That connects us ’til birth
This cord can’t been seen
By any on Earth.

This cord does it’s work
Right from the start.
It binds us together
Attached to my heart.

I know that it’s there
Though no one can see
The invisible cord
From my child to me.

The strength of this cord
Is hard to describe.
It can’t be destroyed
It can’t be denied.

It’s stronger than any cord
Man could create
It withstands the test
Can hold any weight.

And though you are gone,
Though you’re not here with me,
The cord is still there
But no one can see.

It pulls at my heart
I am bruised…I am sore,
But this cord is my lifeline
As never before.

I am thankful that God
Connects us this way
A mother and child
Death can’t take it away!

Well, it was another night of tears and looking at your pictures and wondering WHY you did what you felt you needed to do, but I guess I get it….kinda. I know it could not have been easy for you to come to that decision, but I can see why you felt that was your only way out. After hearing things from sissy and Brett and others, it was obvious that you thought the only way out was to end it all. Well sweetheart, THAT WAS NOT THE ONLY WAY!! You could have called sissy, me or even grandma and we would have been there in a heartbeat, no questions asked. I would have walked to you if I had to just to save you from what you endured.

I find it hard to believe that it was ever your words that were spoken regarding sissy and I bullying you. I would have never in a million years even thought about doing that. I adore you, and your sisters and only want the best for all of you. Your sissy loved you (and still does) so very much and she would never hurt you. I think that things were being put into your head and that is all you ever heard, so for you, it made sense to believe them. I’m not angry at you for anything. I am angry at the people that fed you lies about me for so very long. I’m angry at the people that continue to tell those lies to anyone that will listen. And I am most angry that you were taken away from me and that you never got to know the truth while you were alive. Well, I know that you know the truth now.

I love you….remember, I always love you. I will always be your MOMMY and you will always be close to me.

ps….I hate driving to work and crying at the same time. I want to crawl into a cave and bring you with me