Brittany Rebecca Helton

Many of these questions come from young teens struggling to understand the suicide attempts of friends, and trying to learn how they can help. (These questions were taken from the afsp.org website)

1. What percentage of college students who kill themselves are male? Why do you think more/ less boys than girls kill themselves?
   Seventy-five to 80 percent are boys although more girls attempt suicide. Boys are more involved than girls in all forms of aggressive and violent behavior.
2. I’ve heard that suicides are more frequent around the holidays? Is this true, and if so, how much do they increase at that time?
   Suicides are not more frequent during the holidays. It appears that the rates are the highest in April, and the summer months, June and July.
3. It is often said that a suicidal person goes through a period where he seeks for help from other people. Does this then mean that it could be ultimately the fault of other people (because they don’t appear concerned enough) that one decides to kill him/herself?
   Not a fair conclusion, although it could be a contributing factor in some cases particularly with elderly, terminally ill people.
4. What is the biggest cause of suicide among college students?
   Ninety-five percent are suffering from mental illness, usually depression. If depressed, substance abuse, anxiety, impulsivity, rage, hopelessness and desperation increase the risk.
5. Apart from talking to a suicidal person and encouraging him/her to go for counseling, what else can we do to prevent this?
   Going with someone to the counselor often helps. If the person won’t listen to you, you may need to talk to someone who might influence him or her. Saving a life is more important than violating a confidence.
6. People often get uncomfortable when one discloses something as intimate and frightening as suicidal thoughts. What do you think can be done to reduce this stigma, either of suicidal people, or of depressive patients? Can people actually “change” their minds and accept someone who is suicidal?
   As people recognize that suicidal behavior is the result of a medical condition not a sign of weakness or character defect it will change.
7. What is the most frequent method of suicide? Is the most frequent method different for men and women?
   Fifty-two percent of all people who kill themselves do so with a firearm, accounting for almost 17,000 deaths each year in the U.S. Use of a firearm is the number one method in those aged 35 and up.

Depression and the feeling of a lack of support appear to be correlated with suicidal thoughts and behavior in some college students, according to research from Johns Hopkins Children’s Center, the University of Maryland and other institutions.

The study, funded by AFSP and the National Institutes of Health, and published in the Journal of Affective Disorders, followed more than a thousand students throughout their college years, identifying factors linked to suicidal thinking and highlighting the importance of spotting high-risk students early on and referring them for treatment.

Of the 1,085 students, 151 (12 percent) said they had pondered committing suicide at least once, 37 of whom (24.5 percent) said they did so repeatedly. Ten of the 151 said they made specific plans or carried out full-fledged attempts during college. Two of the 10 said they attempted suicide without ever planning to do so. Of the 151, 17 students reported attempting suicide before college, and 22 reported planning a suicide before college but not attempting it.

Suicide is currently the second leading cause of death among college-age students in the United States, with some 1,100 deaths each year.

The study also showed that students who reported thinking repeatedly about suicide were no more likely to attempt it than those who did so only once. This surprising finding suggests that mental health professionals cannot assume that those who think about suicide more often are at a higher risk, nor are those who have a single suicidal thought necessarily safer than those who ponder suicide repeatedly.

“The results emphasize the need for an anonymous, web-based outreach to all college students, like our Interactive Screening Program,” AFSP Medical Director Dr. Paula Clayton said. “Students need be properly screened for the risk factors that can lead to suicide, and then engaged in coming in for an assessment.”

For additional information on this study, please contact Dr. Amelia Arria at aarria@umd.edu.

Brittany, its been 7 weeks and she continues to carry on with the drama. Do you think she will ever realize how wrong she is? Do you think she will ever realize that you would not want this to happen? Do you think she even cares what you think? I don’t think she ever cared about you. She did the things she did to get to me. She hated me so much that she pushed you over the edge and caused you to do what you did. If you had been here I don’t think you would have had such thoughts.

Do you think she will ever stop telling lies about what really happened? Not just when you were growing up, but when you died also. They say that liars begin to believe their own lies. She cannot keep her stories straight. She is so dillusional that she truly believes what she is saying. She needs serious help and all I can do is pray for her. Gram says the best thing you can do for your enemies is to pray for them. I will do that and hope that she finds her way and that she is able to rid herself of the guilt that she is feeling over what happened to you and how she treated your sister.

I know that you are watching us and you see what is going on. I know you cannot be happy with the way she is carrying on and the fact that she is not allowing us to mourn you in peace. I know that you see that she is the one that is continuing on with the harassment and the drama and will just not let it go. I wish she would just leave us alone.

I miss you so much, and NOT MATTER what anyone says…I have always and will always love you! You and your sisters mean the world to me and I would give anything to have you back and out of the pain that you were in and the torment that you went through being there.

You have been gone 6 weeks today. Has it really been that long already? How could time continue to move when you are not here to move with it? How could you just leave us and not even have given it a thought before you left? Do you realize how much we miss you? Do you even care that your baby sisters will NEVER get to have the opportunity to learn things from you? They will never get a chance to want to be just like their big sister, like they do with Ashley. You will never be able to teach them how to be a proper young lady. They will never get to see you get married. They will never get to say that they are your childrens aunts. They will never really get a chance to mourn you, because they never got a chance to know you. You will never get to go to their high school graduation, or help them get ready to go to the prom, or see the look on their face when they get their first car. Instead, maybe, one day they will get to visit you and put flowers on your headstone. THAT is the kind of relationship they will have with you because you chose to end an amazing life. You chose to make us all hurt and sad that you are gone. You chose to NOT let us in and know that you were hurting so badly. I am angry…not at you, but at your choice to take you away from us. But, with all that anger, there is 10 times the love. I will always love you the way that I did when I first found out about you. I remember the day you were born, and the day you died, but I will cherish all of the times between.

Rest in peace my angel on this 6 week mark of your passing. 6 weeks without you is a lifetime. I love you so very much.

MOMMY

Take 5 to Save Lives on World Suicide Prevention Day

AFSP, as part of the National Council for Suicide Prevention, is spreading the word about World Suicide Prevention Day on Sept. 10 and Take 5 to Save Lives, a new public awareness and education campaign that encourages everyone to take five minutes to help prevent suicide.

By taking five minutes to get involved and become informed, you will be part of a national movement to save lives.

The campaign asks supporters to take five steps:

1. Learn the warning signs for suicide
2. Join the online movement to prevent suicide
3. Spread the word
4. Support a friend
5. Reach out if you need help

AFSP is encouraging everyone to use their social media channels to spread the word about World Suicide Prevention Day and lend their support. For more information, go to Take5ToSaveLives.org.

In addition, the NCSP along with federal agencies will be announcing the formation of an Action Alliance to Prevent Suicide on Sept. 10 from the National Press Club in Washington, D.C. A press conference has been scheduled to recognize World Suicide Prevention Day and lay the foundation for a national suicide prevention effort through this partnership.

World Suicide Prevention Day is sponsored by the International Association for Suicide Prevention and the World Health Organization. Click here to learn more.

Excerpt from AFSP: Take 5 to Save Lives

Support Groups

It can be so powerful to connect with other survivors. And such a relief to be able to talk openly about suicide with people who really understand.

For so many survivors, a crucial part of their healing process is the support and sense of connection they feel through sharing their grief with other survivors. The most common way this sharing occurs is through survivor support groups. These groups provide a safe place where survivors can share their experiences and support each other.

It is natural to feel a bit unsure about going to your first support group meeting. In No Time to Say Goodbye (see Bibliography), one facilitator explains what you can expect:

“We sit in a circle, with each person giving a brief introduction: first name, who was lost, when it was, and how it happened. I then ask the people who are attending for the first time to begin, because they usually have an urgent need to talk. The rest of the group reaches out to them by describing their own experiences and how they are feeling. The new people realize they are not alone with their nightmare. By comparing their situations with others, they also begin to understand that they don’t have a monopoly on pain.”

Some survivors attend a support group almost immediately, some wait for years; others attend for a year or two and then go only occasionally — on anniversaries, holidays, or particularly difficult days. You may find that it takes a few meetings before you begin to feel comfortable. Or, you may find that the group setting isn’t quite right for you, but can still be a useful way to meet one or two fellow survivors who become new, lifelong friends based on the common bond of understanding the pain and tragedy of suicide loss..

Excerpt from AFSP: Support Groups.

Coping with Suicide Loss

“One learns to live with the loss, the tragedy, the waste, and the gaping hole in the fabric of one’s life. There is no closure, nor would I want one. I want to remember him all my life, vividly: his laughter, the smell of his sneakers under his bed, his moments of joy, his humility, and his integrity.”

If you have lost someone to suicide, the first thing you should know is that you are not alone. Each year over 33,000 people in the United States die by suicide — the devastated family and friends they leave behind are known as “survivors.” There are millions of survivors who, like you, are trying to cope with this heartbreaking loss.

Survivors often experience a wide range of grief reactions, including some or all of the following:

• Shock is a common immediate reaction. You may feel numb or disoriented, and may have trouble concentrating.
• Symptoms of depression, including disturbed sleep, loss of appetite, intense sadness, and lack of energy.
• Anger towards the deceased, another family member, a therapist, or yourself.
• Relief, particularly if the suicide followed a long and difficult mental illness.
• Guilt, including thinking, “If only I had….”
• These feelings usually diminish over time, as you develop your ability to cope and begin to heal.

What Do I Do Now?

• Some survivors struggle with what to tell other people. Although you should make whatever decision feels right to you, most survivors have found it best to simply acknowledge that their loved one died by suicide.
• You may find that it helps to reach out to family and friends. Because some people may not know what to say, you may need to take the initiative to talk about the suicide, share your feelings, and ask for their help.
• Even though it may seem difficult, maintaining contact with other people is especially important during the stress-filled months after a loved one’s suicide.
• Keep in mind that each person grieves in his or her own way. Some people visit the cemetery weekly; others find it too painful to go at all.
• Each person also grieves at his or her own pace; there is no set rhythm or timeline for healing.
• Anniversaries, birthdays, and holidays may be especially difficult, so you might want to think about whether to continue old traditions or create some new ones. You may also experience unexpected waves of sadness; these are a normal part of the grieving process.
• Children experience many of the feelings of adult grief, and are particularly vulnerable to feeling abandoned and guilty. Reassure them that the death was not their fault. Listen to their questions, and try to offer honest, straightforward, age-appropriate answers.
• Some survivors find comfort in community, religious, or spiritual activities, including talking to a trusted member of the clergy.
• Be kind to yourself. When you feel ready, begin to go on with your life. Eventually starting to enjoy life again is not a betrayal of your loved one, but rather a sign that you’ve begun to heal.

Excerpted from Surviving Suicide Loss: A Resource and Healing Guide.

A Message to Survivors

We encourage survivors to gather, to remember, to speak aloud the precious names of those lost to suicide. You are in a safe place with those who understand.

If you are very new to the tragedy of suicide loss, despair may be your companion. We hope you find some time to rest your burden and share it with those of us who need no explanation.

There is no map on this path to becoming whole. It is the most painful of journeys — full of twists and turns, bruised hearts and misunderstandings. Small wonders appear on this path but we may be too sore or fragile to recognize them. But there will be a day when you can look back and know that they were there.

We share your loneliness. We share your sorrow. We share your questions. We honor those we love who have been lost to suicide. May the radiance and beauty of their lives never be defined by their deaths.

Survivors are the most courageous people we know. Be well, be peaceful, be hopeful.

Excerpt from AFSP: Surviving Suicide Loss.

My family and I will be participating in the Las Vegas Walk for suicide prevention on February 5, 2011. We would greatly appeciate any and all support. That support can come in the form of a donation or you can join our team to walk with us! We would love to have as many loved ones with us as possible as we walk to celebrate my Brittanys life and to maybe prevent another parent from having to suffer this pain.

If you would like to donate, or join our team, I have posted the website information on this page under ‘Links and Friends’. Also, just in case you can’t find it, it’s here.

Thank you in advance for your love and support! We so much need it and appreciate it! We love you all!

For all of you out there that have been hearing things about myself (Brittanys MOTHER) and Ashley, her sister, all I would like to say is that there definitely are 2 sides to every story. Most likely, the things that you are hearing are not true and are being fabricated by someone who may be feeling resentment against the 2 of us. The things that are being said are hateful and hurtful and will not be tolerated.

This page is to CELEBRATE the life that Brittany lived. I will not go into detail about the things that have been occurring since the death of my Brittany, but I will say that WE, her family, are hurting so much from not only the loss of our precious angel, but from the things that have happened. All we are asking for is time to mourn our loss, just as anyone else would. We are still in shock and disbelief that someone so full of light and life would choose to take the path she did just to end the pain and the hurt she was experiencing.

All I would ask from the responsible parties (and you know who you are) that are causing the heartache is to think about how Brittany would react if she knew how you were treating people that loved her so very much. Think about her and respect her memory.