A Letter From Heaven

To my dearest family, some things I’d like to say,
Though first of all to let you know I arrived OK.
I’m writing this from heaven, here I dwell with Spirit above,
Here there’s no more tears of sadness, here is just eternal love.
Please do not be unhappy because I am out of sight,
Remember I am with you every morning, noon and night.
That day I had to leave you when my life on earth was through,
Heavens warmth covered me and said “I welcome you”.
“It’s good to have you back again, you were missed while you were gone,
As for your dearest family, they’ll be here later on.
We need you here so badly, you’re part of our great plan,
There’s so much that we have to do, to help our mortal man.”

Spirit gave me a list of things that were wished for me to do,
And foremost on that list – was to watch and care for you.
And when you lie in your bed at night the day’s chores put to flight,
Spirit and I are closest to you…in the middle of the night.
When you think of my life on earth, and all those loving years,
Because you are only human, they are bound to bring you tears.

But do not be afraid to cry a while; it helps relieve the pain.
Remember there would be no flowers unless there was some rain.
I wish I could explain to you all that Spirit has planned.
If I were to tell you, you would not understand.
One thing is for certain, though my life on earth is over,
I’m closer to you now than I ever was before.
There are many rocky roads ahead of you and many hills to climb,
But together we can do it by taking one day at a time.

It was always my philosophy and I’d like it for you too;
That as you give unto the world, the world will give to you.
If you can help somebody who’s in sorrow and in pain,
Then you can say to me at night..”My day was not in vain”.
So now I am contented…that my life was worthwhile,
Knowing as I passed along the way I made somebody smile.

So if you meet someone who is sad and feeling low;
Just lend a hand to pick him up as on your way you go.
When you’re walking down the street and you’ve got me on your mind;
I’m walking in your footsteps, only half a step behind.
And when it’s time for you to go from that body to be free,

Remember you’re not going…you’re coming here to me

I know you’re gone from this earth
You left me way too soon
But I feel your love every time
I gaze up at the moon.

Sometimes I think I hear
A whisper in the wind
It sounds as if you’ve called my name
As your love to me you send.

Sometimes I do a silly thing
And your laughter fills my ears
I know you’re right here with me
But I can’t see you through my tears.

I felt your hand upon my shoulder
And I quickly turned to see
Visible… you were not
But I know you’re here with me.

In the night you sometime come
To visit in my dreams
My hands go out to touch you
But you’re just out of reach it seems.

For just a flash you appear
Standing close to me
Is it just my imagination
Or is it really you I see.

Even though you’re gone from me
And you watch me from above
I long for you everyday…
And I still feel your love.

~ Charlotte Anselmo ~

Loss of a Child

(author Unknown)

The moment that I knew you died,
My heart split in two,
The one side filled with memories,
The other died with you.

I often lay awake at night,
When the world is fast asleep,
And take a walk down memory lane,
With tears upon my cheek.

Remembering you is easy,
I do it every day,
But missing you is a heartache,
That never goes away.

I hold you tightly within my heart,
And there you will remain,
Life has gone on without you,
But it never will be the same.

For those who still have their children,
Treat them with tender care,
You will never know the emptiness,
As when you turn and they are not there.

Don’t tell me that you understand,
don’t tell me that you know.
Don’t tell me that I will survive,
How I will surely grow.

Don’t tell me this is just a test,
That I am truly blessed.
That I am chosen for the task,
Apart from all the rest.

Don’t come at me with answers
That can only come from me,
Don’t tell me how my grief will pass,
That I will soon be free.

Don’t stand in pious judgment
Of the bonds I must untie,
Don’t tell me how to grieve,
Don’t tell me when to cry.

Accept me in my ups and downs,
I need someone to share,
Just hold my hand and let me cry,
And say, “My friend, I care.”

Hope is an anchor, and love is a ship
Time is the ocean and life is a trip
You don’t know where you’re going
Til you know where you’re at
And if you can’t read the stars
Well you better have a map
A compass and a conscience
so you don’t get lost at sea
Around some lonely island, no one wants to be

From the beginning of creation, I think our maker had plan
For us to leave these shores and sail beyond the sand
And let the good light guide to the waves and the wind
To the beaches and a world where have never been
And we’ll climb upon a mountain, y’all we’ll let our voices ring
Those who’ve never tried they’ll be the first to sing

Woah My My
I’ll see you on the other side
If I make it
And it might be a long hard ride
But I’m gonna take it
Sometimes it seems I don’t have a prayer
Let the weather take me anywhere
But I know I wanna go
Where the streets are gold
Cause you’ll be there

Oh my my

You don’t bring nothing with you here
And you can’t take nothing back
I ain’t never seen a hearse, with a luggage rack
So I’ve torn my knees from praying
Scarred my back from falling down
Spent so much time flying high, til I’m face first in the ground
So if you’re up there watching me, can you talk to God and say,
Tell him I might need a hand to see a boat someday

So, I had a rough night last night. I thought about you and all the torment you were made to deal with for the entire time that you were with your dad and your horrid step monster. I cried for about an hour knowing that they are responsible for your death. They are the reason why I will never get to see you get married, will never get to hold your babies, MY grandbabies and will never get to see you as an amazing mother, despite the crazy woman that called herself your mother. She never deserved to have you, let alone the monsters that she actually gave birth to. They are NOT your siblings. Your siblings are your sisters here. They miss you and so do I. That entire family is worthless. They can’t even see what kind of CRAZY that disgusting excuse for a human is!! She has gone off her rocker and hit the floor hard! She seriously needs to get some help and realize how much of a self centered BITCH she really is. And for her to call me the things that she did. I don’t think I have to tell you that she is no less of a whore! She is the one that broke her family up, not to mention your dad! WOW!! They are perfect for each other! 2 cheaters!!! I wonder if you found out that your loser dad was cheating again. Is that why you did what you did. It was bad enough that you had to deal with it the last time that it happened. What kind of a man makes his own daughter lie about something like that? A worthless one…that’s who.

They claim to have loved your sister, but not once have they even bothered to call and find out how she is holding up….but you know that already. I know you see what is going on. I can’t believe that I even cared how your dad was doing after you died. The funny thing is that I bet that crazy woman doesn’t even has a clue that your dad and I were talking before I came out to lay you to rest and we laughed with each other about the day you were born, and we cried with each other about the day you were born….and the fact that we lost you. We lost OUR baby. You were our little Chunky Monkey and we loved you so much.

I hope you are resting baby….I love you…G0odnight

Hey baby…..

So, today was your baby sister’s birthday party. She will be 11 on Wednesday. I cannot believe that she is that old already!! We wish that you were here to celebrate with us. She wanted an orange and purple cake with peace signs and stars on it, so that is what I made for her.  I remember when you came out for Christmas and she was only 2 weeks old and all you wanted to do was be around her. You would always ask me “mommy, where is the baby? Mommy, what’s the baby doing? Mommy, can I go look at the baby?” You were so sweet with her and such a little helper to me. That was one of the best Christmas’s I can remember. I had (at the time) all of my babies with me. (That obviously was before your littlest baby sister was born) I also found your christmas stocking. I’m going to hang it up with your sisters stockings. I know it will not bring you back to me, but at least you will be close to all of us.

I hope that you are resting well. Take care of great gram, and grandma Rita. There are a few others up there that I am sure are looking out for you. I hope that you are able to forget about all the bad things that happened to you in your short life, and remember and SEE who loves you.

Bitty, its funny how some people have the balls to say that you had a mental disorder, and that you got it from me, but what people don’t realize is that CRAZY, BIPOLAR, MANIC DEPRESSIVE all reside in Muncy, PA under the same roof that you were killed. It’s funny that there were 2 constables at your funeral and the crazy one was the one that had to be spoken to twice because she opened her big mouth. It’s funny how she tried to make herself look better to everyone AFTER she got in trouble and had your SISTER and I sit up front with the rest of the crazy KLAN. I am sure that she did that just so she could say ‘oh look, I saved a seat for them out of the kindness of my heart’!!

I know that is the reason why you left the way you did! She can ask WHY all she wants, but perhaps she should take a look in the mirror and realize that SHE is the reason why you did what you did. I know about the phone call that you got on Brett’s birthday weekend and that you did not get to go to the amusement park because the crazy one made you come home early, even after she knew you were going to ride the roller coasters. I know about the screaming matches and the fights and the fact that you wanted to move out.  I have no doubt that she was freaking out because she would no longer have control over you. YES, you were 19, but you were treated like a child! While the crazy one was taking a NAP on the couch in the middle of the morning (what the eff could she have going on that she would need to nap in the morning…..I guess its hard sitting on your fat ass all day and ordering your children around) you were upstairs doing the only thing you could do to get out of the crazy.  I am so sorry that I could not get you out of there.  I would have come to get you in a heartbeat.  No questions asked.

I also think its hilarious that she cannot even see that SHE is the one that has been using people. What kind of a woman would treat children the way that she does? What kind of a woman would brush under the carpet the fact that one of your step brothers was video taping you? What kind of a woman would steal children from another woman and not have any remorse for doing it.

There is so much that I am going to tell you when I see you one day, although, you already know the truth and what has really happened. The only thing that I am going to ask you is why you never reached out to me. You must have been so afraid of what she would have done to you. It’s so sad that because of one worthless individual, that MY BABY is gone. That I don’t get to see you ever again.

I love you…….Know what is true baby girl, and know who is deceiving you……

White House Issues Presidential Message in Support of National Survivors of Suicide Day and Suicide Prevention Efforts Nationwide

AFSP is deeply gratified to have received from the White House a special message supporting National Survivors of Suicide Day, acknowledging the pain and tragedy of suicide loss, and recognizing the efforts of those who are working to prevent suicide throughout the nation.

to read the President’s message

Citing the critical importance of identifying and helping those at risk, the President pledged his Administration’s support for mental health screening and treatment for service members and veterans, and efforts to reach vulnerable youth, including those who may have been the victims of bullying.

AFSP remains committed to making suicide prevention a national priority, and is grateful to the Administration for its recognition of this important public health issue.

oh Bit, some people are just so funny some times! They open their mouths (or in some cases, they hands to the keyboard) and write incredibly stupid and uneducated things, then it’s like a light bulb goes on and they realize just how ignorant they sound. I am so very glad that you were not a part of that gene pool. We are fortunate that you got brains and looks from the good side of the family.

It’s also funny how everyone says that you look just like me. I don’t see it, but I guess its true since your baby sister looks JUST like you. Sometimes its scary when I look at her and see your face. It’s both awesome and sad at the same time. I still have a little bit of my little bit with me.

I found a box of your stuff the other day and it had your baby book in it! I was so so excited! It’s one of the few things that I have that no one else has, and that makes me smile!!

let it go like water off a ducks back…..and that is exactly what I am going to do itty bitty. Love you so much 🙂