Brittany Rebecca Helton

We have had some really bad weather the last 2 days. You must not be happy. I am sorry for that. I hope that one day I will be able to make you happy again and take away all the pain that you had to endure while you were still here. I wish for so many things, but mostly to have you back with us and HERE where you belong, not there with the people that are responsible for you being gone now. I hate that you are gone and even if you wanted to talk to me, you cannot now because you left us. I hate that I cannot reach out to you and tell you just how much I love you and that I always did and the things that you were told were not true. They were all lies and I know that you know that now. What I truly wish is that you are no longer suffering and in pain and that you can finally have some peace in your afterlife. I know that we will meet again some day and I will be able to ask you all the questions that have been running through my head for the last 8 months. You were so loved by everyone and we are just at a loss about why you did what you did. We miss you and want you to be happy. I know that you are safe now and that no one will ever be able to hurt you again.

You are one of the 5 loves of my life….

The Left of Center Art Gallery is hosting a photography exhibit by Warren Bates titled ‘Road to Zzyzx’ from April 9th to June 4th, 2011. All proceeds from the sales of the photographs will go to the American Foundation of Suicide Prevention in honor of Warren Bates. He lost his battle with depression on April 23, 2010.

This event is being sponsored by the Las Vegas Review Journal and is benefiting the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. If you are unable to make the exhibit, donations can be made on line on the website below. For every donation, the family of Warren Bates will send a copy of a photograph to you as a Thank You for the donation.

For more information, please visit the website below:

www.warrenbatesphoto.com

like I do everyday. I have pictures of you above my computer at work, and I look at your smiling face everyday. I wish I had known that you were hurting so badly. I wish you had just said one thing to someone so that we could help you. I am so sorry that you had to go through what you did. I wish that I could turn the clock back to that day that I left Germany without you and your sister. I did not have a choice to take you. Your father hid both of the passports so I could not do anything. I wanted to run away with you both and he refused to let me take you. If I had known then what I know now, I never would have left. I would have dealt with the drama of him cheating and leaving you and I and your sister to fend for ourselves in a foreign country. I would have refused to leave without both of you. Ultimately, he is the reason why you are no longer here. You should be here with us. You should have been here for my birthday and for your sister’s birthday. It is not fair that we are sad because we will never get a call from you to say Happy Birthday or just to say Hi. I hope that one day I am not angry at what you have done.

I love you….from day one I have always loved you.

Ben took me and Sissy and Brother to Disneyland this weekend for my birthday. It brought back memories of when you came out and we all went to Disneyland. That was one of the best trips that I have ever had. I had you and sissy with me and everything was ok in the world. I wish that you were with us again this time. Now my babies are adults and we are missing you. I want to do things like that with you. I want to be able to have conversations with you and be able to go on trips with you, but that will never be able to happen. You are not here and it’s not fair that I can’t have celebrations with you like I can with the other girls.

I love you sweetheart and I am so sorry that you had to go through what you did.

So, just when you think that everything is ok, the lies are continuing. It’s really sad that she has to lie to cover her own guilt about your death. Mainly because she is the one that is responsible for you no longer being here with us, but then she lies and has tributes to you taken down. What the ‘person’ does not seem to understand is that she is not hurting me…..she is hurting you, all over again! It’s ok baby because the important people know the truth and the rest of them don’t matter! I hope that you kick her a*s when you see her and then send her to hell, because that is exactly where she belongs.

On another note, I am worried about sissy. Please watch over her tomorrow when we go to get to test done. She is scared and I am worried about her. She really could use her sister right now. It’s so sad that she does not have you here to help her with this. All she ever wanted  was for you 2 to be close, and you were until you were taken away from us. We love you so much and miss you more than you know.

Tomorrow at 1pm, ok honey. Send us a sign….please.

I hope you are finally resting, but with all the BS that the crazy is doing, you most likely are not.

I love you so so much

I guess the CRAZY finally realized that it was not worth fighting anymore and finally either hid her page or took it down all together! I wish that I could say that it was hacked, but I am sure that she just did something stupid, like she always does. Besides, I have no clue how to hack into anything!

I miss you. I had lunch with a friend of mine today and we talked about you and the convo that you and sissy had the night before you left us. I wish you would have said something to her about how you were feeling and we could have taken care of things for you. I would have driven across the world to save you from everything that was going on. I just wish you had reached out to me and said something…ANYTHING!!! I hate that you are gone and that we never get to see your face again, except in pictures and in our thoughts.

I love you, and so do your sisters…..

I need you to watch over your baby sister. She is very sick right now. We have been back and forth to the doctor and things just don’t seem to be getting better. We can’t get her better and it is truly scaring me. It’s like what happened 2 years ago. No one can make her feel better. I feel so bad for her and I want to take all of her sickness and her pain away, just like I wish I could have taken all of your pain and sadness away. Please please watch over her. We need her to get better. I am worried and I just don’t know what to do anymore.

I love you sweetheart. You are our angel and I know you are watching over us.

is so sick and I really need you to watch over her. She needs all the help she can get right now. I don’t have to tell you how worried I have been about her and the fact that CRAZY is stirring up drama is not helping.

Please baby, just watch over Tee and make sure she gets better.

I love you~

Thank you for the rain baby….it was much needed and it made me wake up this morning and try and look at things in a different way, but I do have to tell you that I am tired of being threatened by CRAZY like you were. I love how she throws her attorneys name around and stating that she has gone to the police. I had dealt with those threats most of the time you were alive and now I still have to deal with them now that you are gone. I find it ridiculous that I just cannot have the opportunity to mourn you without her insane behavior always coming in to play. Why doesn’t she understand that everyone deserves the right to mourn you and to say the things that we want. She acts like she is all about not having your word silenced, well what about the rest of us? Last time I checked it was a free country and there is a thing called the freedom of speech! Any who how (that is so stupid by the way, I know you would never say anything like that) let her try and prove that I did anything wrong!! If you put something on the internet, then it’s free reign!!! DUH!! Not to mention the fact that they have pictures that I took of you up on that joke site! Funny that she does not state that I took the pictures. It’s funny that a few days ago she couldn’t afford the attorney, and now all of the sudden they are making a trip over to see him! Oh, ok….Did you just pull the 20k out of you ass? WHATEVS!!!!

I miss you sweetheart. I miss you so much. I think about when you were a baby an how sweet and adorable you were. It’s funny that you were so skinny when you grew up because I used to call you my chunky monkey when you were a baby because you were so fat!!! you were adorable and I just cannot believe that you had such a tortured soul my baby.

I love you…..don’t ever forget that…..I know you can see the truth…..

and I have been sitting here thinking of all the drama that CRAZY continues to cause. If it’s anyone that is bipolar, it’s her!! Her posts go from scary and threatening to all loving and caring….like she knows how to even been the last 2!! If anyone needs to take any medication, and truckloads of it, it’s definitely her!!! It’s no wonder why you did what you did. Any other person would have done the same thing. AND yes, you death WAS preventable. Had she not acted like the insane person that she is, you would not have felt that the only way to get out from under her spell was to take your own life. I will blame her until the day comes for me to see you. She was the one that was responsible for you doing what you did! AND, had your loser, weak father done something about her torturing you, you would still be here. I think it’s so funny that they just think they are the best parents ever! Let’s talk about biohazard!

I hope that she discussed with her ‘IT Director’ (do you even think she knows what IT stands for…? haha) about the fact that someone can copy a photo and alter it 7 times and it no longer falls under the so called copyright that she claims to have. And as for your ‘ESTATE’, PAH LEESE!!!! Give me a break already!!! It’s so funny that she can claim that she is doing all of this, but to this day, almost 8 months since you have been gone, your headstone is still not in placr. I am sure that she is making sure that it has her name all over it, because I guess your death is really ALL about her!!! SICKO!!! Get a life!!!

I told your sister the other day that I am really trying to be a good person and look beyond everything that has happened, and I don’t like to use this word…but I really do HATE her and I know that you felt the same way….no matter what you wrote! Oh, and speaking of that….it’s funny how now, in your last letter, you allegedly wrote that not matter what you had written about her before that she really was the best. The thing is, you just wrote MOM, not her name……so thank you honey. I am not the greatest mom in the world, but I try my best. (I am sure now she will change what she wrote and say it was from you, because she has a habit of doing that!!!) Nothing that she has posted will ever be believed until we see it for our own eyes!! And when you wrote MOM, I know you were talking about me! I know what you and sister talked about when it came to CRAZY!!!

I love you my sweet girl! I hope that you are resting, unless you are playing with Sasha, Bubby, Pippen and Monkey!